Alone, surrounded by death
by Yellowtail555
Summary: Parvati wasn't sure about the Battle of Hogwarts but when Lavendar dies... how will she get through it?


**For the "Battle of Hogwarts" competition. Parvati's thoughts during and after the Battle. Enjoy!**

It's a feeling that can only be described as despair. Total and complete loneliness. It's a horrible feeling but one that occurs to almost everyone in their life time. Yet no one ever expects it and for most it'll hit them with full impact that will leave them gasping for breath. What I am describing is the death of friends or family.

Parvati; like most people, especially kids; never saw it coming. It was mere years ago that her and Lavender would run through the ground of Hogwarts, falling on the perfectly trimmed grass that bordered the school, giggling. Because that was when they were still children, young and foolish.

So much had changed in a year, they had gone from laughing, ignorant kids to mature, confident adults. Who were ready to fight their own battles. What they had yet to realize was that it had all occurred way too quickly.

And so when they got out of the Room of Requirements and found the halls crowded with Death Eaters, most of them lost their false sense of security that was an effect of the confidence that always proceeds a show down. The fighting just made it worse, wand on wand, spell against spell in the crowded halls of the school that had housed them all, some more recently than others. For all of them, even if they hated to admit it, at one point during that horrible war they just wished Harry would turn himself over. If only so they could stop watching people, some friends and others enemies, crumple to the ground around them.

Some fell with surprise still etched on their face, some looked grim, and still others had their mouths open to scream although few would hear them over the furiously screeched incantations. Death Eaters bodies littered the floor, lying beside students and people from the Order. It seemed wrong to Parvati but she knew better than to stop fighting or she'd soon join the death list. The horribly long list that seemed to be growing every minute.

Parvati heaves herself off the frost covered lawn and wanders, unhappily towards the Great Hall. She's watched students move to and from the yard, dragging dead bodies into the Hall. She wipes at her tear streaked face and looks to the ground and the small girl she was lying beside. Only a 2nd year, the girl had snuck away to fight and had been struck. She had fell into the grass and Parvati had found her, injured and too scared to move. She had lay by the little kid as she said her last words and fell into a deep sleep.

Te... tell my sister that... I love her.

Parvati had promised the 12 year old that she would do exactly that but now the 2nd year was gone and she made her way to the warm of the castle. As soon as she stepped into the Great Hall, she wished she hadn't. She'd have given anything to forget what she saw and lie outside with the girl until she froze. But there in a corner she saw blonde curls and she knew who's those were. And it felt like time had frozen as she found the face that use to belong to Lavender... and now belonged to death. It had been severely mauled by a werewolf and Parvati ran over there, sank beside Professor Trelawney and Seamus and grabbed her best friends hand to her face. Cold. And that was when she fell to the ground weeping because Lav couldn't be dead... couldn't be!

Seamus pulled her into his lap and she cried while he sat and just muttered.

"Bloody hell, Lav really doesn't seem like the type to just die on us. She had too much life." He pulled her up and looked her in the eye. Parvati noticed his eyes were also red and she knew she wasn't the only one sad that Lavender was dead. After all, Lav was Seamus's girlfriend, this had to be hard on him too.

Seamus offered her a tissue that was squished into his jean pocket and she wiped her nose on it and pocketed it herself. She turned around to look at Lav again but it was too hard and she took one of her friend's curls and rubbed it between her fingers.

"It's okay..." Seamus whispered into her ear, "It's all okay. Lav's still with us, inside. She'd never leave us, you and me... she's too sweet for that."

Parvati nodded and murmured back, "It's too much sometimes. Hogwarts," she added to his unspoken question, "Sometimes I feel like we're exposed to loss way to early here but... where else would we learn about it. And... is anyone ever ready for loss."

Seamus smiled. "I love you."

"What?" She whipped around, smacking him in the face with her dark hair.

"I love you," he replied, "Oh, Parvi, don't make me repeat it."

Parvati blushed, surprised by his sudden outburst and warmed at her new nickname. "But you were dating Lav."

"I liked her, I really did, but you were the one of the two that really caught my eye."

"Not now," Parvati argued, "Give it time..."

She looks back at her dead best friend. "Just wait... for Lav."

As she looks at Lavender she can almost see her friend in mind's eye and she knows Lav would tell her to go for it, and to tell her all about it. And that Parv had better write to her after school.

Parvati sits back, she'll always miss Lav, no matter what but she's happy about Seamus and... she has to stay strong. For herself but more importantly, for Lavender.

**What'd ya think? It's unclear whether Lav survived and so this is what if she didn't. Please R&R. I hoped you enjoyed my oneshot. **


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